I’ve checked the train status for my two rail legs that haven’t yet confirmed. The one from Jodhpur to Mumbai (used to be called Bombay) is now “CNF” meaning it’s confirmed that I’ll be on the train with a proper bunk. The other one (for which I have booked two different trains as backup), hasn’t moved in status - still a WL16 on the one, and a WL1 on the other. I have about 40 days for that one to hit confirmed status; I think it isn’t unreasonable for it to move at least one position and get me on, even as a RAC (sitting only). It’s about 16 and a half hour train ride from Goa to Kerala, so it’d be nice to have a bunk (considering it’s an overnight train), but I’ll take what I can get.
In other news, the period of second-guessing became a little brutal for a few days, but only lasted 4-5 days in total. I just tried to relax knowing that there are so many things outside my control, there was absolutely no use in consuming mental horsepower trying to solve the riddle. There is no solution. There is only making decisions in the moment they are presented. I am a smart and capable guy with many diverse experiences in my life that I can draw on. I am not going in to an openly hostile war zone, and I’m not looking for trouble. If I miss a train or can’t find a hotel for the night, it will be uncomfortable and probably a bit rattling, but I have survived much worse. Besides, it’s in those type of situations that your mind can be an incredible asset - to think outside of the conventional, and come up with creative solutions, pushing outside the comfort zone.
Pushing outside the comfort zone is part of the answer to the “why?” question. In fact, the “why?” question is the most frequent question I am asked (close second is about the toilet situation, and whether or not I will practice “Indian style” beforehand. The answer is, I intend to, if my wife gives her blessing :). Using a squat is not a graceful procedure at first, and if I lose my balance, I’d rather end up sprawled on my bathroom floor and have antibacterial soap and a scrub brush at the ready to properly clean my hands, than landing on the filthy floor of a public toilet, without anything but some questionable water and some hand sanitizer to bring my paws back into eating instrument condition [that was a world-class run-on sentence]. And no, I will not be posting the attempts on YouTube.). So, back to the “why?”…
A question that sums it up nicely that I received a few days back from a friend (using the email address listed in the last post, hint, hint) included this as the last line: “I hope you find what you’re looking for there… btw, what are you looking for?” The answer is that it is not just one thing. It is an amalgam of multiple components; some of these I can identify consciously, and I know instinctively that there are other components that I can’t as they run much deeper than thought. The ones that I can detect include the desire to push the comfort zone, the genuine fascination with Indian culture, the love of travel, the want for a genuine challenge, the desire for a break/escape from the daily grind, the fondness for meeting unique people, and the urge for some modified isolation to provide some perspective. These things and more are all very fluid, like a constantly changing grand pie chart where one sliver grows to three times it’s normal size before shrinking back to a phantom of it’s previous self. Everyday, I could answer that “why?” question differently, and all of them would be truthful at the moment when I answered.
The locations included in my itinerary include places of historical significance, World Heritage sites, various geographies and terrains, areas highlighting the differences between Indian subcultures, opportunities to see wildlife, and last but not least specific places important to Indian philosophers and sages that have influenced my thinking.
There is very little in me right now that is apprehensive. We’ll see if the second-guessing comes around again (would it be third-guessing then?), or if the excitement and anticipation squeeze out the opportunity for it to manifest again. Tomorrow, I enter single-digits until the day of departure. The Day is nearly upon me.
No comments:
Post a Comment